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[TM RDX] Jim vs. McKay

“I’m *telling* you, Elizabeth, this has gone on long enough! I want him discharged and sent back to Earth!!”

“Rodney, calm down!”

“I will NOT calm down! I’ve HAD it! This...this *sycophant* has been getting his jollies in tormenting me for far too long! Did I say sycophant?! I take it back...this *child!*...”

Weir had to hide a smile as she raised her hands to Rodney in a placating gesture as Jim merely sat in his seat, listening to Rodney’s tirade with a grin. “Rodney? Just take a breath, okay?”

“Elizabeth, he reprogrammed the sensors to read me as a Wraith!!!”

Jim finally interjected, raising a hand as he propped his feet up on the edge of Weir’s desk. “Okay, hold up...now I know we all love Mac here, unquestioningly...but just because I fiddled with a couple things in the sensor array? Doesn’t mean it’s not *accurate*...I mean, I’m just sayin’...”

The shade of purple Rodney’s face tried to turn was enough to nearly make Jim bust a gut as he launched into a stream of expletives and epithets that Jim never imagined Mckay even *knew*. At the end of it all, he found himself oddly impressed with his vocabulary...and from the looks of it, so was Weir.

She finally turned to Jim, raising an eyebrow as she walked around her desk and leaned back against it, folding her arms. “Well, Major?”

Jim just smiled and nodded, sighing heavily. “I agree...Rodney *really* needs his mouth washed out with soap.”

“Of all the *NERVE!!!*...”

Shooting Rodney a look, Elizabeth turned back to Jim. “Major Riley...this isn’t the first complaint I’ve had about you. Now I know that in Sheppard’s eyes, you’re a fine soldier, and your performance record is impeccable, even if your conduct leaves much to be desired.”

Jim wanted to make a wisecrack, but decided to let discretion be the better part of valor and simply nodded. “Guilty as charged.”

“I also know, through what I’ve read of your work and what I’ve heard from Carson and Zalenka...and even McKay, in his own backhanded way...that you’re a *very* gifted man, regardless of what you may say to the contrary.” Weir went on. “And Jim...I’ve seen those gifts. I’m grateful that you’ve been kind enough to share those talents with us...and I also understand that a man that is capable of what you are can sometimes get restless...even bored. But pranks are pranks, Major...this is a little more serious. You weren’t just giving Rodney a hard time, you were affecting citywide systems. That’s not something I can easily overlook.”

“All due respect, Liz...I *was* just giving Rodney a hard time.”

Weir raised a curious eyebrow as Rodney fought not to erupt again.

Laughing, Jim finally glided to his feet. “What I did was interface with Rodney’s portable console and through that, mess with the city’s sensor array with the set of program routines *he* wrote to make it easier for personnel to work with the Ancients’ technology. And? I did it from my quarters, on my laptop.”

“Your point?!?!” Rodney snapped.

Jim glanced at him with a casual, easygoing shrug that was rewarded by a vein in Rodney’s forehead actually bulging out. “Field test, good buddy...I exploited a weakness in your program and I turned the system against you.”

“This is...*absurd!* Elizabeth...please tell me you’re not buying this!!”

Elizabeth eyed Jim dubiously, making Jim sigh and roll his eyes, spreading his arms. “Okay, so fucking with McKay was a bonus...’scuse the language, Liz. But the test was valid...and I’ve been submitting my security update memos to you, Shep, *and* this tool for the last four weeks. With the problems we’ve already had with internal sabotage? Shit like this has gotta be addressed. Maybe my methods were a little gung-ho...but are you listening yet?”

After a couple moments, Weir nodded. “Yes, Jim...I’m listening. But? The next time I find you performing any sort of ‘experiments’ of this kind *without* authorization? You *will* be brought up on disciplinary charges. Is that understood?”

Grinning as he all but listened to Rodney’s blood pressure rising from just behind him, Jim stood at attention and snapped off a jaunty salute. “Yes, ma’am, Dr. Weir, ma’am.”

She did smile then, narrowing her eyes. “Stop needling Rodney, Major...that’s an order. You’re dismissed, for now...but I’ll be in touch with you to work with Rodney on correcting these flaws.”

Jim nodded and left Weir’s office...and grinned like an idiot as Rodney’s cursing rang out good and clear through to the gate room.

Muse: Major Jim Riley
Fandom: Stargate ATLANTIS
Words: 776